This particular topic is a bit of a 'hot button' for a lot of guys, sparking arguments, raising tempers, and just generally causing friction between people sometimes. The perfect topic for someone like myself that tends to like to get a reaction.
What are my thoughts on safewords? I don't play with safewords. I don't play with them sometimes based on the person I'm playing with -- I just flat out don't use them.
Here is why:
A lot of the play I like to do, involves an extreme level of trust between myself and the top, or the bottom and myself. If the play is going to be intense, then we already need to have a deep seated trust of a similar intensity. This kind of trust can take a lot of time to really form.
In my mind, if i can utter a word, or hear a word uttered, and it brings the whole scene to a screeching halt, then the control is an illusion. I would rather play with people i have well established trust with, that can read my sounds and body language and interpret my fantasies/fetishes well.
Does this mean I will get in over my head some day? Likely -- it's a risk of playing this way, and one I'm willing to take.
ps - I have nothing against folks that want to play with safewords, it just isn't how I conduct myself.
2 months ago