This post was prompted by s10boi and our discussing scenes in general.
I've always had the motto "It's not bondage until you want out".
It's interesting to see how different people react to bondage and various forms of stimulation. In my experience, it's not something that you can really pigeonhole people on. Even the same person won't react the same way to the same situation each time.
Personally I've found, that over the years I have more ability and more desire to stay in bondage - especially post orgasm. This is likely due to some evil friends forcing it upon me, whatever my wishes at the time (Yes, they have been thanked appropriately).
This is something that i continually to want to work on, and probably haven't done so as much as i should.
Another avenue of exploration is adding gear after I've cum -- Hoods, gags, more strict bondage, etc
I guess i should set some goals or just talk to Rocket about it.
As a top, I read a sub's body language to decide whether they are in distress or genuinely need release. Generally, you can expect to get what I give you -- if i want to keep you in bondage, you are going to stay, whether you like it or not, barring some real reason to need out.
Beware if you advise me not to listen when you ask to be out post-orgasm, I take notes (literally).
Something that seems to get a lot of attention is catheter play.
Cath play is something that can be extremely fun and stimulating, but has to be done the right way.
In a fetish/play sense, I learned to cath as a top from Rocket, who was the first one to do it to me.
He made a very good point about learning to cath someone:
If you want to learn to cath someone else, you should first learn to cath yourself -- learn to do the whole procedure to yourself at least once. Go over it in your head, ahead of time. Learn the process and feel the sensations that you are going to cause someone. Keep in mind that everyone feels urethral play a little bit different.
This isn't something you should learn on your own -- you should have someone teach you that knows how to do it, and has experience.
The Fun Parts (To name a few):
Good for Recycling Scenes
The Risks (These are the reasons to be careful, and do it under the most sterile conditions possible):
Damage of the Urethral Tract from Rough Insertion
Damage to the Bladder from Rough Insertion
Transmission of STDs
I have always been one to advocate both the risks and the benefits of any kind of play.
I originally got a prince albert piercing for chastity purposes in 2004. At the time, and still, lots of folks thought i was crazy, that being my primary motivation for getting a body piercing.
Admittedly, it hasn't been used as much recently for chastity, but that is about to change.
Rocket has me gauging up to 2ga on my PA, as the chastity device i ordered from steelworxx.de has a 2ga PA lock built into it. I tried this stretch once before, and failed as i seem to have aggravated the PA and had to take jewelry out of it for a few weeks so it could calm down.
At this point, I suspect it will be some time around the New Year before i make the 2ga mark, as I am at the 6ga point now. Thats a hard couple of stretches with some tapers to arrive at that point, and I'll have to make sure to give plenty of time for the piercing to relax between.
In case i haven't posted it before, here is the device:
No, I am probably not going to write stories for this blog (unless they are true). I just happen to lack that particular creative spark to write something that others (or myself) will find stimulating. I have tried it before, and have utterly failed -- there are quite a few things I'm good at, this is not one of them.
That said, I did want to talk about stories -- in particular, a request I make when meeting someone for the first time.
Before I play with someone for the first time, I have made it a common practice to ask them to send me a few stories that they particularly enjoy, or use when they are getting off. Stories can tell you a lot about what gets a persons mind racing -- what gets them hard, and what they might want.
It can be a slippery slope, as a lot of stories contain things that aren't actually feasible to do to someone, unsafe, or things that are more intense than that person is prepared to handle.
Used properly, however, you can leverage these to get 'inside' someones head - both to get them in the headspace and to mind-fuck them.
After all, what would you be thinking if you were suddenly the sub in your favorite story?
Short post, but some food for thought....
ps. Videos and Photos can work just as well, if you find someone who doesn't like reading his porn ;)
This particular topic is a bit of a 'hot button' for a lot of guys, sparking arguments, raising tempers, and just generally causing friction between people sometimes. The perfect topic for someone like myself that tends to like to get a reaction.
What are my thoughts on safewords? I don't play with safewords. I don't play with them sometimes based on the person I'm playing with -- I just flat out don't use them.
Here is why:
A lot of the play I like to do, involves an extreme level of trust between myself and the top, or the bottom and myself. If the play is going to be intense, then we already need to have a deep seated trust of a similar intensity. This kind of trust can take a lot of time to really form.
In my mind, if i can utter a word, or hear a word uttered, and it brings the whole scene to a screeching halt, then the control is an illusion. I would rather play with people i have well established trust with, that can read my sounds and body language and interpret my fantasies/fetishes well.
Does this mean I will get in over my head some day? Likely -- it's a risk of playing this way, and one I'm willing to take.
ps - I have nothing against folks that want to play with safewords, it just isn't how I conduct myself.
In the time i have had the gimpsuit, i have had a lot of folks ask if they could try it. Most of those people get a pretty straight 'no', or i avoid the question altogether. The suit is special to me, and I feel weird letting other people try it.
So far i have let one other person try the suit, and you can probably guess - that person is Rocket.
Earlier this year, I decided that since we have a kinship in regards to rubber and gear, I would like to share this experience with him, and so let him try the suit out for one of our Tuesdays.
While he was in the gimpsuit I got in the latex drysuit and my mohawk hood to top him. Chicagogear was nice enough to take a few photos of us that i think are rather nice, so I thought i would share some here:
For me the gimpsuit really changes my mindset, sometimes i almost feel like a different person in it -- and after trying it and having a bit of a scene and some time to relax in it, Rocket feels the same way about it.
It's interesting how a full coverage garment can be transformative, and sometimes change the way you act.
I would imagine someone like myself could be 'conditioned' with that sort of treatment.
A few months ago, I visited Montreal for a vacation and stayed with Bikermtl for a week. Since i wanted to bring as much gear as possible, and flying was significantly more expensive, I decided that i would drive there rather than fly.
Those that have travelled with me, know that in this regard, I am a bit of a walking statistic. If it is possible to get stopped, i will get stopped.
During the border crossing into Canada, i got the usual questions, and after answering them, surprise surprise, I got sent off to the inspection area. Keep in mind that i was carrying several cases worth of fetish gear for the ride.
I was politely asked to open my car up and unlock all of the doors. After a rather thorough inspection I was asked about a few random items. Here are a few of the more amusing tidbits:
What are these for (Regarding sportbike leathers)? Riding motorcycles, and sex.
What is all of this? Gear for bondage and fetish.
Where did you meet your friend? A latex fetish website.
After asking all of the questions and getting proper answers, they sent me on my way. Not before I noticed the female inspector thumbing through some pretty explicit photos on my ipad, with a HORRIFIED look on her face. Nothing was said though.
Things i took away from this:
Be Honest, lies wont help anything (hence my honesty)
Be Prepared, they might ask anything
Be Organized - in case they DO want to look
I will blog more about the actual experiences in Montreal as time goes on :)