After a lot of thought on the matter, I realized some things:
1) Knowledge is power - The more you know about each other, the better time you will have.
2) Be Honest - If you'd like to try something, and are a bit nervous about it, or have concerns, voice them.
3) Dark fantasies do not have to be reality -- but they can be rooted in it.
4) Mind fucks can be more powerful than sensations - knowing someone well makes this possible.
There are a lot of questionnaires going around right now for BDSM to help you get in touch with your perspective playmate better. In my opinion this does not replace good old-fashioned chatting and getting to know each other. Additionally, sharing some photos, videos and stories that you enjoy the most can tell someone quite a bit about what you like.
In the end I was more open than I had been with anyone previously about some of my really deep dark desires. The result of this was an amazing visit, with great play, and i got to cross several things off of my bucket list.