For a long time now I have sort of introspected myself to figure out how I've come to the place that I am now. It's been a pretty interesting journey and it makes me think back to my roots a bit -- where all of the feelings associated with fetish and kink began. This is my story as well as i can remember it....
I first started getting the kink stirrings at an extremely early age -- in fact I was tying myself up with ropes, chains, belts -- really anything I could get my hands on before I could even manage an erection -- My best recollection puts it at somewhere around 9 years old or so. I can recall a LOT of bathroom self bondage from about 9 - 17 years old.
As a result of a childhood surgery and some subsequent medication I had a pretty rough and very early puberty -- At about 10 years old, I went from four foot something tall to around five and a half feet tall. As a result it was pretty painful, I had the TERRIBLE mid-pubescent voice, and of course the sexual stirrings began. It was at this point bondage/gear and sexual feelings began to be intertwined.
Somewhere in my tenth year, I had my first orgasm. Like many bondage lovers and fetishists, I did not have it purposefully so to speak. I had my first orgasm tied up on my bedroom floor, in self bondage with bicycle inner tubes ( apparently I was at least a little inventive even then ). As a young male that had never experienced this before, I was terrified -- I had NO idea what just happened, all I knew what that I LIKED it, and bondage was how I arrived there.
For about the next four or five years, I didn't have an orgasm without bondage. It wasn't until I was about fifteen years old that I actually 'jerked off' in the traditional sense. At sixteen I had a girlfriend (Yes a FEMALE), who liked to tie up boys, and I bought some of my first 'real' bondage gear.
At either 16 or 17 I bought my first latex (like one young @divepup) -- and I didn't cheap out, I had a latex catsuit as my first piece of purpose-built fetish attire. I was hooked, and continue to be to this day -- clearly.
At seventeen I met my first gay male partner for a play date -- he lived 100 miles away, and it was quite a drive. I was shaking and having second thoughts when i pulled up at his house. All i knew was I wasn't going to back down and I didn't -- a little chit-chat and some pizza, and we did the deed (This should be it's own blog entry).
From the sum of these experiences and experimentation, and a lot of great friends and experiences since, I learned my sexuality and my fetishes.
Is it expensive, complicated and time consuming? Yes -- definitely!
Would I trade it for anything? NEVER, vanilla sex is boring :)
2 months ago