Openness

I recently took a play-cation to visit a friend I have been talking to for a very long time. One of the things that struck me prior to the visit was how he seemed to be digging for information about my likes and fantasies harder than anyone ever has before. Me being me, I started to wonder why.

After a lot of thought on the matter, I realized some things:

1) Knowledge is power - The more you know about each other, the better time you will have.

2) Be Honest - If you'd like to try something, and are a bit nervous about it, or have concerns, voice them.

3) Dark fantasies do not have to be reality -- but they can be rooted in it. 

4) Mind fucks can be more powerful than sensations - knowing someone well makes this possible.

There are a lot of questionnaires going around right now for BDSM to help you get in touch with your perspective playmate better. In my opinion this does not replace good old-fashioned chatting and getting to know each other. Additionally, sharing some photos, videos and stories that you enjoy the most can tell someone quite a bit about what you like.

In the end I was more open than I had been with anyone previously about some of my really deep dark desires. The result of this was an amazing visit, with great play, and i got to cross several things off of my bucket list. 

-rf